Review for Ambient Chapter 12 from nuhuh on January 15, 2010

Bill dressing up Ginny like a child was weirdly amusing. Her being as desperate as she was made me pity her. First time I've felt that Harry is being an asshole for the heck of it. Besides his disenchantment with people, projecting Magical Britain's character on Ginny, it was just cruel. -- Romilda's entrance out of the shadows to take out Cormac was awesome. The only thing I didn't follow was where the hell was she? Was she on the road under some invisibility spell, did she step out of the darkness somewhere. Basically there weren't any 'physical' references to the placements of the characters in that scene. -- I like how you ended up showing Tonks' need to comfort manifest. It was done in a much better way than what we'd talked about. -- I am reading a lot of these chapters together so I am seeing patterns. This pattern of Harry hearing things he doesn't want to hear from women, recognizing they are true, but hitting back with something semi-cruel but unfair, yet not feeling bad about it or repenting is getting very tiresome. Scene with him walking out on Pansy after her speech, Scene with him walking out on Hermione after being cruel to her, Scene with him leaving Ginny after albeit a short speech, Scene with him making Tonks' awkward and not regretting it, all after the chapter with Fleur and emotional conversations with her where he says unpleasant things back to her just to make her back off, realizes he is unfair, but is yet unrepentant. Think about it, so far he has only dealt with Susan and Romilda differently. Every other woman he has this formulaic scene with. -- Speaking of Romilda, very nicely done, finally some levity in a sea of bleak introspection. I am enjoying how her madness is done. I especially liked Tonks' opinions of her and how she characterized Romi. - "Saccarinely sweet" is redundant. -- I think Romilda was the highlight of this chapter, you have introduced someone Harry is interacting with distinctly differently than any other woman. The scene with Tonks was good too because their relationship isn't ass messed up as it is with other women, so it's a breather.

Review for Ambient Chapter 10 from nuhuh on January 14, 2010

I do like this reworking of Fleur. She is much less a fanboy fantasy and much more someone real and likable. Harry's reactions to her, as far as how deeply she can get to him and how badly he resists it are very well done as well. I'd forgotten about the 'no heal' list so I'll say again that it's a really sweet idea. I am usually not a fan of magical theory but the bit about healing spells basically using ambient magic is very good. It explains quite well why someone would have to leave England to go elsewhere to cast those spells. Good idea. Sometimes I feel you have all these small neat ideas that get passed over or bogged down by the emotionality of the rest of the writing. Then again this was a heavily emotive chapter by definition.

Review for Ambient Chapter 9 from nuhuh on January 14, 2010

Scenes with Padma were very nice; I liked seeing that some of his old classmates had not become so changed that they were out for his blood, like Cho or Lavender. Narcissa's dialog after she gets back from torturing him a second time and talks about her emotions getting the better of her was a little stilted. It was as if you were trying to make her sound polished but instead just ended up making her sound awkward because her sentences were cumbersome. One particular bit of visual imagery I really, really, really enjoyed was Romilda standing in profile with the smear of blood diagonally across her face smiling back at Harry. Very picturesque and horrific. On another note, for some reason her licking Harry instead of making me thing she was strange just made me chuckle; probably because I'm a fan of her insanity as long as she is helping Harry. Harry's inner monologue when she starts talking about Narcy was hilarious. And again, Susan's dynamic entry, I am really liking that girl. One critique: the action between Cho and Romilda could be tightened up in places by using less words so the pacing is better. As a general rule try to change your writing style to be economical when writing action. Describe, but do it quickly and efficiently. Try not to use qualifiers: 'but,' and 'although.'

Review for Ambient Chapter 7 from nuhuh on January 14, 2010

I really liked Susan's characterization. You managed to paint a very complete picture of her in a short scene. I'd like to see more of her. So far she is the most coherent female character you have, in that her motivations and pain are expressed in her personality in a logical way.

Review for Ambient Chapter 13 from typa on January 08, 2010

Review for Ambient Chapter 13 from Surarrin on January 07, 2010

DEY TOOK YER JOBS!

Review for Ambient Chapter 12 from carvell on January 06, 2010

%u201CHarry! Would you like to stay for dinner? I%u2019m planning to make%u2026%u201D %u201CI just strangled your brother to death, William. So no, I don%u2019t think I%u2019ll be staying for dinner.%u201D I needed to clean my keyboard from spilling my larger after reading that, i dont think i laughed so hard in months keep it up.

Review for Ambient Chapter 12 from Lord Ravenclaw on January 06, 2010

This story is awesome, Cal. I love the insanity of all of the characters. They've had their ambient magic ripped from them and all become unhinged in some way or another. It's great, a refreshing read and dabble into insanity. I'm quite curious where this is going. Keep up the excellent work!

Review for Ambient Chapter 5 from wolf550e on October 31, 2009

Every character you write is insane. See a shrink.

Review for Ambient Chapter 4 from wolf550e on October 31, 2009

Keeping her and spending so much time on her without getting anything back is insane. It's not heroic, it's just stupid.

Review for Ambient Chapter 3 from wolf550e on October 31, 2009

If he's so good, how could Ron sneak up on him? He can feel the magic in an attacker, so one can't get close enough for physical attack without him noticing. He was assaulted, kidnapped, his blood taken. Why didn't he kill everyone? Ron is not Ron. Zombie!Ron has declared that he is Harry's enemy. Why does he live? Why did he go to Greengrass Compound to begin with? Sounds like Daphne was his enemy from before he went there, why did he subject himself to be under her wards? Why didn't he kill everyone when he was locked in the room? Why did he reveal anything to Greengrass? Why didn't he kill Greengrass?