| Title: Magic | Isabella Potter's parents and brother were killed by Voldemort, or so she thought. What happens when she finds that her brother is still alive? | |
| Author:HpTwilightLuvr456 | + / - | ASSSTV | |
| Rating: PG-13 | Category:Action/Adventure/Other | Reviews:4| Published: March 27, 2011 | Updated: March 27, 2011 | |
| Tags: Cedric, Isabella, Harry, Hermione, Ginny |
Reviews 1 - 4 of 4
This appears to be missing sentences, additionally, it displays in both IE and FF as centered copy, not flushed left. Makes it more than a little difficult to read.
You may want to pull it up on a system other than your own to view it and then make whatever changes are necessary.
One in two lines is missing. At least I hope it is. Otherwise it doesn't make sense. Get a beta and try to flesh an actual plot before you start writing.
Review for Magic Chapter 1 from aduroconglacio on March 28, 2011
I'm going to be harsh. I find it hard to believe anyone writes this badly.
1D characters, if even that. Little adherence to writing convention, and grammatical form. No hint of a plot or future events.
You're either a troll, or a thirteen-year-old with grandiose ideas of fanfiction, but with little to no discipline as to how to deliver your grandiose ideas.
Find an editor, find someone to bounce ideas off of, and try not to post travesties such as this until you have a clear grasp of writing convention.
Reviews 1 - 4 of 4